last day of the year…  oh boy.  you wonder, especially at times like this, where it all went and what it all adds up to.  or if it means anything but surely it must, otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it right?
as for simple and small personal stuff…
oh man.
i did watch my paintings go south in the worst way in the sales department even though i thought they were and still think they are some of the best paintings i’ve done in the past 15 years.
so if no one bought them that’s alright cause i like them enough to keep them for myself.  and they got me along far enough to enter by way of the back door, the National Art Gallery of Canada.  and who knows where getting in there will lead to.  that is in the cards for early 2006.  and we have plans wrapped around that entry i can tell you absolutely!
the novel project…
well it wasn’t ready like i said it was going to be.  i said at christmas i would have a brand new print of re writes ready for anyone to grab and read.  well that didn’t happen.  and i am way short of having them ready.  so that is one of those areas where you simply dropped the ball.  and there aint no wondering at the end of the day what happened there why things didn’t get done.
as the general always told me:  there are 3 simple little words you can say to yourself at the end of the day when things don’t get done:
its my fault.
those are them, three little words.
but i have not given up on the novel.  i think a major block has always been, well who is going to publish this thing?  but a writer friend told me to never mind who is going to publish it and they couldn’t anyway cause you haven’t written it!
ice water…
speaking of cold water, i went swimming this year on october 5th and 6th!  it was beautiful.  we were in the north country on one of those long range recon patrols the bosses like so much from us, and we were out there, near our usual first check point, and island not far from one of our favourite beaches.  october 5th, we were in the middle of a heat wave.  it must have been upwards of 30 degrees, hot and dry and a beautiful wind blowing out of the south.  it wasn’t long before a few of them had said to themselves and others, F this and jumped in, clothes and all.  well i saw that and thought if they can do it than so can i and away i went.  beautiful. 
there is something especially beautiful about seeing the trees in their autumn glory from water level, swimming and seeing those colors.  it was a loverly scene and one which i will carry with me for a long time.  glad to have taken a few photos of the event.
my summer.  also glad to have taken many photos of the event.  spent a record 22 days down there this year.  next year i would like to stretch that to at least 36 days starting in july.  see what happens but i have this glorious vision of me and jazzy sleeping on the fields and viewing the moon through our refracting telescope michelle gave us.  we could view the stages of the moon on those clear nights and watch the bats fluttering in the night sky and read some Robert Frost poems by candle light.  and during the day we could run on any of the beaches easily within our grasp.  that is the summer i am and have been dreaming about for years.  we won’t be doing any more art shows in the summer unless of course its a big one over at the National Gallery (ha ha!)  so the road to the island should be open and free to travel.
have to keep those ladies of mine safe!
i keep thinking about the nightmare that family must have gone through on Boxing Day of this year.  their mother and 15 year old daughter are walking in downtown toronto, just a couple of blocks from the yonge and dundas, just north of that intersection and boom!  gunfire in the streets.  the 15 year old is killed on sight.  stray bullet or who knows, but one thing is for certain it wasn’t meant for her!  so really, that business of an innocent bystander is true!
i hope the cops catch those punks and hang them up by their necks until they are dead. 
i know that is what i would want done with them.  cause you see i have a 15 year old too, and she is definitely the light of lights.  i couldn’t imagine the nightmare if that had been us down there on that street and it was her getting hit.  terrible thing.  absolutely terrible.  you wonder what this world is coming to when something like that happens in downtown toronto, right here in Canada.
punks with guns.  they should hang the lot of them.
that is what i think.
i keep thinking about that father, he says to his daughter, i’ll be here when you get back and the next thing you know its all over the front pages of the nation’s newspapers.
now that is disaster.
so we can thank our lucky stars we haven’t been visited by that. 
i guess you could say we have a lot to be thankful for.  me especially.  sometimes the way i carry myself in this world, i look or act like i have nothing but i do have something and something very big.
you have to remember that.
this past year i said the boss man, he’s been gone 2 years now, but i said, that is someone you want to model yourself after, in the fatherly role, but it is no easy task as he was a great man.
ah but this world is full of tasks which are not easy.
if it were easy, i guess it would be an ideal world…
adam and eve.
but even they F’d up.
so there you go.
anyway, i wish i had some photos to add today but the truth is i don’t.  i mean i do have a lot of pictures of the girls but i want to keep those for myself.
and i didn’t take any of the island.
so i’ll have to leave you with these words and that’s all.
happy new year.
 
holy mackinaw!  here it is, december 31, 2006…  another year in the books.  last year’s resolutions, some have been met and others swept under the carpets and/or shipped.  ah but we are still here.  the family is here.  everyone is cosy and warm and well fed and that much is great.  so we should consider ourselves very lucky. 
took one last look at the streets of 2006 and lads it was an ice box 4 p.m. out there.  moon was rising in the sky and there was no fun in looking at that, it was just too cold! 
missed getting home to the island for christmas!  that is the first one missed in at least 15 years.  maybe even 30.  can’t remember but its been a long time since i missed that and i’m not too happy about it!  there is this open space inside of me which is suppose to be filled with the sights, sounds and fragrances of the island, and the goings on in my mom’s kitchen…
i guess those will have to wait till spring time.  or summer. 
time will fly!
and as the old man told me many moons ago: the world is going to turn, no matter if you are on it or not!
more fun being on it so far as i know.
happy new year!
 
 
 
 
 
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